By Anasuya Isaacs

The workshops culminated with the participants making Peace Tiles as a gift to someone who is also HIV+, something that, if the person doesn’t speak their language, would understand their gift just by seeing it.

We brought magazines, colored pencils and paint for them to create their visual gift of love. We let them know that they could use words, phrases, images or make up something from nothing. Anything they did would be perfect. Once they really believed that there was no right way or wrong way, they just let themselves create.

They were so excited by the magazines a real treat because they are too expensive for them to buy. We had to get to stop reading them (unfortunately) because time was limited. We just reminded them of their purpose: find the words and images that reflect what their heart wanted to give away to make a difference for someone else.

They were so focused that the room was completely silent. Every now and again, someone would share about a picture but mostly they composed their gift. Time was not on our side and yet they created gifts that belied that fact. They were so happy with their creations, many made time to make two and one person, Eliza, made four!

Nasipho, who hasn’t yet disclosed her HIV+ status to her sister with whom she lives, had a fight with her and came in to session so angry. She said that she hated her sister and was sure that her sister hated her. In the “communologue”, the group shared ways to heal this relationship, not only for her own health but because this sister will more than likely be taking care of her children when she has passed on. We asked her instead of making her Peace Tile for someone around the world, to make hers for her sister and to give it to her.

In her beautiful Peace Tile full of red ribbons is a quote she found in a magazine, “There’s a big difference between angry words, ‘I hate you’ and character attacks like, ‘You’re such a loser, you’re pathetic.’” Though she didn’t say that she forgave her sister, her whole body had a peace and sweetness that wasn’t there when we met a week before. I am hopeful for what can come and will ask her at our next meeting how it’s going.

Baba had time to make two gifts. One said, “I believe you should never give up on your dreams. Calm and Collected. Add more to your world” while showing images of confident woman and a happy child.

Johnny’s Peace Tile has a lot to say! Though he is blind, he told me the images he wanted and the words he wanted to offer to someone on the other side. He was quite decisive in what would represent him. My favorite collage of quotes he put together says, as advice to someone just discovering their status, “For a healthier you, it’s important to… look for someone you enjoy talking to, someone who still likes adventure.” He has the word GRACE in golden yellow on his because he feels his life is full of grace.

Others shared, “No worries. Good Counsel” “Eat good healthy food” “I Love flowers” and had pictures of gorgeous ones bursting with color. What strikes me about this is that here in the townships, you never see flowers. There are no gardens. The food they eat is full of starch and little protein and very few, if at all, vegetables. Why? This kind of food is the cheapest. Though know what they need, they do not have access to it.

One wishes she had a car so that she could go wherever she wants, all around South Africa. Cars are their access to life out of the townships. It gives them a chance to find and keep work, to see the city of Cape Town, so close and yet a world away; and to know what the world outside their township is like. There is almost non-existent public transportation so tax’s become luxuries and people stay trapped in their cycle of poverty

Look at their Gifts and be moved. What moved the participants the most was the possibility that someone would want to know what they thought and felt about anything. They wanted their gifts to be special because it mattered to the other person and it mattered to them to offer hope and proof that people can LIVE with dignity and joy with HIV. Just look at their faces!

Anasuya

We’ve just finished our two workshops with the HIV+ support group at JL Zwane. Fre and I were quite moved by what they had the courage to reveal about themselves and how this virus has altered their lives and their families. It is like gas: silent, invisible, quick and deadly. These men and women are so hungry to learn whatever we have to teach them; for new experiences beyond the ordinary hardships they are facing everyday.

They thanked us for giving them a place to learn about each other in a new way. They rarely, if ever, get to be really listened to and have the experience of being known without being judged. When this happens LOVE is present: love for self and love for others.

Zanele took her one-word gift to the world- HAPPINESS- and shared it with everyone she saw on her way home. She said that she smiled at them until they felt happiness. Baba’s one-word gift was UPLIFTMENT. She shared it with her daughter and grandchildren, and they were relieved because she had been depressed for a year and had withdrawn from the world. They were thrilled to get their mom back.

One of our men, Johnny, shared that he felt more connected with the world since he started the workshop. Before, he lived a very isolated life, leaving home only for support group meetings, sometimes to see a friend, and to get groceries on the day JL Zwane distributes food to the needy. As a man who has been blind for the last 15 years, he had given up so many of his passions, first and foremost, his love of reading. In the workshop, he realized how much he missed it. Now that he has felt this connection to the world, he wants to read. Johnny promised to go back to the school for the blind to learn how to read Braille so he can read books, use a cell phone, ride an elevator and do other things outside of his home.

LETTERS

The participants in both workshops so generously wrote letters to someone who just discovered they had the virus and wanted to die. They were asked to share their experience of finding out their status, and with living with the virus in a way that would make a difference for the reader.

Tamsanqa wrote a long letter in which he told his new friend, “Please don’t stress. Be cool and listen to your self and your heart beat. I was diagnose in 2003… and went home angry…I couldn’t believe it was me with this Devil. But I forgave myself. I never thought this could happen to this clever boy, but I was stupid… I never used protection… But now I am a changed man because of the people around me… Please my friend be strong and try to pray even if it’s once a day. Your friend in South Africa, Tamsanqa.”

Nasipho wrote “I care about you very much. Please call me if you want something or you need help. I’m here for you.”

So much love and wisdom flowed out of these letters. Olipha recommended “the way you must feel about this virus is to have control over it. You must be in control of your body and life, always think positively. If you allow negative thoughts in your mind you shall always be depressed. Once you are depressed and you have stress, it becomes easy for opportunistic diseases to attack you.”

All of the letters are just gorgeous. I can’t wait to share them with the many different support groups back home and also with the wider public for they are a gift of hope and call for prevention.

Bongani says it best, “Love yourself… you can go far. HIV is just a word. There are many diseases around that world that can kill you. I’m proud to be HIV+ positive because God [has} got a purpose for my life. Call me if you want help feeling proud!”

Anasuya

I went “home” today to JL Zwane. I LOVE that place. JL Zwane is a community based organization serving Guguletu (township) and anybody who comes through their doors. It was created to welcome, feed, clothe, and minister to the needs of those suffering from AIDS at a time when the stigma was high, people had nowhere to turn for help, ARV’s (medicine) were not available and death was quick and devastating. Many people didn’t even know what AIDS was at the time JL Zwane was formed.

“The JL Zwane Centre is a fully-fledged community centre providing a range of services to the local community, and focusing in particular on HIV/AIDS prevention, Care and Support Programs, Nutrition, Hospice, Music and Drama as well as an After-School Study Program for young learners.” This excerpt from their website doesn’t really capture all that they do for the community. For those who have no money for food, they provided healthy meals so that the people can take their ARV’s (impossible without food). They are taking care of many children orphaned by AIDS. Habitat for Humanity built some homes for them, but sadly, more orphans come ever day creating a greater need for housing, food, clothes and school tuition (school is not free in South Africa). The Center also takes care of many shut-ins who are unable to come and get the help they desperately need.

So today I am introducing Fre and Zella to the adult HIV+ support group. When I came in September 2006, Let Love Lead offered three different workshops: to the adults, homeless teens, and to the young adults. We came to introduce ourselves to the group, many of whom were not in the group before, and to invite them to participate in the new workshops we’ll be offering next week for three days.

Some people in the support group could do only the morning and others only the afternoon, so I offered two different workshops. Twenty-two people signed up (11 in each one). This was quite exciting! Fre and I would have to go back and create material that could be done in 9 hours for the morning group and in 4 for the afternoon group which only had two days (one day conflicted with counseling and support group obligations).

It was so great to see all of their faces, beautiful and brown, excited by the visit from an American and a Dutch. Some were clearly sick and feeling badly, but most looked healthy and ready for a new adventure. Six of the people who were in the Let Love Lead workshops before were there in the room, shocked to see me again. They hugged me at the end, thanking me for returning like I promised!

Though I didn’t say it, I became fearful when I didn’t see many of the people with whom I had fallen in love on my last visit. Had the disease kept them home? Had them disease taken them away forever? When I asked Baba about a specific one of two, she told me that they had gotten healthy enough and now were working. What a relief!  One of the guys in the group who had participated so generously, had vowed to be a leader in the community, speaking freely about his status to try to save lives. He wanted to particularly reach the men to encourage behavioral changes regarding women. Baba told me that he was killed by someone who didn’t like him talking about men needing to change their philandering ways. That broke my heart!

I will show them pictures from the 2006 and have them tell me specifically where each one is. I pray that they are all working and taking care of their families!

Anasuya